Venting in the Ranks

By Yasmine L. Konheim-Kalkstein, Ph.D., and Brian C. Gerardi

U.S. Military Academy and New York University

August 10, 2026

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Your Soldiers are talking loudly about a recently published decision made echelons above your head. An NCO makes a borderline insubordinate comment in the group chat before (begrudgingly) complying. You've been given an order that you understand but maybe don't agree with, and now must issue it to your team, knowing there will be some pushback.

There's no denying the catharsis of complaining. In some ways it's a guilty pleasure; encumbered by the hierarchical formalities of military life, candid acknowledgement of hardship sometimes just feels good. Military operations can be loud, chaotic, inconvenient, and dangerous. It feels good to call it like it is and acknowledge the suck while having to embrace it.

Yet should leaders tacitly accept the emotional venting? Is it helpful for teams to vent? Do leaders join in? What's helpful - and what might backfire? This article explores how venting can support cohesion and resilience - and how to avoid its harmful effects.

The Upsides of Emotional Sharing

Venting is a common human behavior. A 1992 study reported that college students shared, on average, four complaints a day with someone else (Alicke et al., 1992). Today, digital technology has made it even easier; venting is now widely visible on social media platforms (Lykousas et al., 2019).

People vent for different reasons. Some have instrumental motives, aiming to prompt change (Baer et al., 2018). Others do so as a form of emotion-focused coping - expressing anger, frustration, or resentment in hopes of relieving stress. This type of emotional regulation, where negative emotions are released rather than bottled up, is suggested to be healthy (American Heart Association, 2023).

Regulating emotions is particularly important in the military, where Soldiers often face "isolation, ambiguity, powerlessness, boredom ... danger ... [and heavy] workloads" (Bartone, 2006, para. 5).

Army Doctrine Publication (ADP) 6-22, Army Leadership and the Profession (2019), underscores the value of emotional regulation, emphasizing leaders' need to maintain composure during prolonged stress and in adverse situations.

One way to regulate emotions is by sharing feelings with others (Zaki & Williams, 2013). In contrast, suppression - while adaptive in crises and therefore often relied upon in the Army - carries long-term costs (Bryan et al., 2012).

Research links chronic suppression to lasting emotional difficulties (Gross, 2002; Gross & Levenson, 1997; Davies et al., 2019), which in turn are associated in military populations with alcohol and drug misuse, violence, and even suicide (Stanley & Larsen, 2019).

So rather than stifling emotions, turning toward others may provide a healthier and more sustainable path. Social Baseline Theory suggests that humans are wired for social living, and that sharing emotional burdens can reduce stress and make regulation easier (Beckes & Sbarra, 2022). The presence of trusted others lowers the individual effort needed to manage emotions, underscoring the value of group settings for emotional regulation.

Building on this idea, Barton and Kahn (2019) propose a "relational pause" - structured moments in which group members process anxiety together. Such a practice can enhance resilience and improve collective decision-making.

Even without formal structures, organizations that cultivate psychological safety encourage personnel to raise concerns and speak openly (Edmondson & Bransby, 2023), counter toxic leadership (Swain et al., 2024), and direct their focus on skill improvement, task accomplishment, and relationship building (Sweeney et al., 2009).

For the military, camaraderie often deepens when troops face and process hardship together. Army doctrine emphasizes the importance of leaders who endure struggles with their Soldiers.

"Leaders who personally share hardship and risk demonstrate to subordinates that they are invested in the outcome and willing and able to do what they ask subordinates to do" (Department of the Army [DA], 2019, para. 1-80).

Shared struggles, when openly acknowledged and navigated as a unit, can transform stress into cohesion - a critical asset for military effectiveness. A key facet of trust, leaders indicate their intention to trust others when they demonstrate vulnerability within a group (Sweeney et al., 2009).

The Downsides of Venting

But there are times when venting can turn toxic and erode morale.

Sometimes team members might complain together, sharing their emotional reactions. Initially this could lead to feelings of emotional support, cohesion, and validation. But if they choose to focus only on the negative - without prioritizing understanding, learning, or resolution - they shift toward collective rumination (a repetitive, prolonged discussion of adverse events focused on the negative and uncontrollable).

Venting might reinforce a cycle of negativity based on the following dynamics: 1) contagious negative emotions increase shared distress, 2) bonding over complaining rewards ongoing negativity, and 3) groupthink (a process where pressure for agreement suppresses dissent and critical evaluation) narrows the range of interpretations, leaving little room for alternative perspectives or solutions (Knipfer & Kump, 2022).

Over time, these dynamics can lead to unhealthy organizational outcomes such as lower perceived control ("there's nothing we can do"), reduced motivation to act ("why bother?"), and losing resilience in the face of adversity.

Discussing unfair treatment - especially in the workplace - can intensify, rather than relieve, negative emotions. Employees who repeatedly discussed unfair supervisor behavior experienced more anger over time, not less (Baer et al., 2018).

These conversations also reduced hope and work-related motivation, reinforcing a sense of helplessness. Venting, especially when focused on blame without pathways to resolution, may be emotionally and motivationally counterproductive.

Bushman similarly found that rumination increases anger, and that venting while ruminating might increase aggression compared to doing nothing at all (Bushman, 2002). Venting emotions can also devolve into gossiping, which can harm group cohesion (Cruz et al., 2019).

How to Manage Venting in a Team

How can we capture the benefits of sharing emotions and gathering information to improve organizational resilience and decision-making without turning them into unhelpful types of venting? Consider this question from three perspectives: teammate, follower, and leader.

Teammates: Venting Horizontally

Teammates complaining to each other is likely the most common kind of venting. A sense of psychological safety and familiarity exists among people of the same status or level of responsibility; however, this can still drain the team.

Consider the impact. If you're the one venting, understand that your negativity can drain others. You may want to acknowledge something going on but help your team understand your needs. Do you need a confidant? Someone to listen? Advice on how to proceed? Venting can feel considerably less negative/draining if the people to whom you vent know what you need.

Improve the outcome. If you're listening to venting, you influence how the venting is processed. Research from Nils and Rimé (2012) shows that venting depends strongly on how listeners respond. For example, encouraging reflection and reframing, as opposed to simply listening empathically, reduces longer-term distress.

Venting results in problem-solving most often when those listening challenge the thoughts of those venting (Behfar et al., 2020). When a listener challenges the complainer's way of interpreting what's going on, the challenge can become a problem-solving catalyst.

Interestingly, venters prefer to go to someone supportive rather than someone who challenges their thinking. Thus, teams might need to commit to helping each other reflect constructively and not just sympathize.

Being a good teammate means having an empathetic ear and not just commiserating. Good teammates ask "would you like me to just listen, or would you like me to help you reflect and think about how to solve a problem and move forward?" Allowing your teammates to vent (without being overly negative) can even strengthen your bond (Krems et al., 2024).

Even though venters may seek validation of their complaints, reframing the response may be more productive, especially for the organization (Baer et al., 2018).

Follower: Venting Up

Effective followers "think for themselves and carry out their duties and assignments with energy and assertiveness." In addition to managing themselves well and building their competence, they're committed to the organization, and are willing to be courageous and honest with their leaders by bringing up concerns, and alternative perspectives (Kelley, 1988).

Add value. How leaders raise concerns or alternate perspectives can influence their well-being and performance. Leaders can become emotionally exhausted and their performance can be hindered if their team simply complains (Sessions et al., 2020).

However, if suggestions and ideas are brought forth with the intent to improve the organization, leaders and organizations can positively grow.

Thus, speaking about opportunities and possible solutions, rather than simply complaining about what happened, is more likely to benefit organizations (Disque, 2018).

Clear is kind. When sharing complaints about someone else with leaders, it's important to focus on what they're doing to hinder the mission, not on who they are.

Simply saying someone is a "bad teammate" is more akin to rumination while talking about their behavior is focused on problem-solving. Turn a "vent" into an objective analysis. Instead of saying "someone was lazy" focus on objective facts such as "they weren't prepared" and then on how it affected the team or the mission.

Leader: Managing Venting

Should leaders vent to their team? If the complaints are not problem-focused, leaders shouldn't vent to their followers to emotionally regulate. It's okay to be honest, to acknowledge the gravity of a situation, but leaders need to lead through challenges.

If complaints are problem-focused, they shouldn't come off as complaints, they should be acknowledged challenges with mitigation plans (or calls for solutions).

Model restraint and authenticity. Leaders should avoid using their subordinates as outlets for personal venting. While it's appropriate to acknowledge difficult missions or decisions, framing frustrations as complaints risks burdening the team and eroding confidence in leadership.

Army doctrine (2019) emphasizes composure under stress, and research from Gooty et al. (2010) shows that leaders' emotional displays shape subordinates' trust and performance. The goal isn't to suppress all acknowledgement of hardship, but to model openness paired with resolve: "This'll be hard, but here's how we'll get through it."

Listen and validate complaints as data. Complaints shouldn't be dismissed as noise; they're a source of information about the unit's emotional state and operational friction points. Subordinates who think their leaders listen report lower emotional exhaustion, stronger organizational commitment, and reduced intentions to leave (Lloyd et al., 2015).

Leaders can encourage constructive expression by creating structured opportunities for reflection, such as after-action reviews or leader development sessions, and by effectively applying the principles of feedback - preparing, soliciting, reviewing, and following up (Swain & Plenge, 2021).

By validating concerns and then guiding the discussion toward what can be improved, leaders transform venting into feedback. Leaders should follow up on all feedback with their teams (including providing reasons when changes aren't possible). It helps build trust (Swain & Plenge, 2021).

Shape the emotional climate. Leaders set the tone of the unit's emotional climate. Research on emotional contagion shows that group moods spread quickly and influence performance (Barsade & Gibson, 2007).

Leaders who calmly acknowledge venting, followed by reframing ("I hear your frustration - let's focus on what we can control"), help prevent collective rumination and redirect energy toward mission readiness.

Sometimes complaints are not communicated directly. Leaders need to be attuned to signs of sarcasm, silence, or conflict, which may indicate collective strain.

In these incidences, it may be valuable to pause and allow productive discussion of these emotions. Barton and Khan (2019) emphasize that the success of this reflective period depends on leaders demonstrating empathy, fostering psychological safety, and legitimizing emotional reflection.

Climate and culture are linked but distinct: climate is a unit's immediate emotional atmosphere, while culture is a long-term system of shared values. Leaders manage climate in the moment through how they respond to frustration; mishandling venting repeatedly can gradually corrode the broader culture. Emotional climate control is therefore not indulgence, but a core leadership function.

Conclusion

Venting is inevitable in any unit; Soldiers will voice frustration when faced with uncertainty, hardship, or unpopular decisions. Leaders don't eliminate venting, they manage it. Left unchecked, it can devolve into collective rumination, eroding resilience and cohesion. Managed well, it becomes a tool for connecting, problem-solving, and developing trust.

Teammates can help each other by listening constructively, followers can raise concerns with clarity and courage, and leaders can shape the emotional climate by modeling composure, listening as if complaints were data, and redirecting energy toward solutions.

By doing so, leaders turn frustration from a liability into an asset - transforming shared hardship into cohesion and mission readiness.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the NCO Journal, the U.S. Army, or the U.S. Department of War.

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